What do I think about it?
At first I thought he was going totally nuts on Oksana (or whatever her name is) but he kept on repeating how much he felt used and what he did for her. The fact that she was utterly calm during the whole tape was just so strange! I mean I guess she knew she was taping it but then – talk about lack of emotion!

I do think the guy needs help. I guess this is the result of having a woman supposedly suck you dry (if i am correct).
If you haven’t heard the rantings yet (I believe there are like 5 of them) here are a few:

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They are demeaning. Poor Lady- going through this!

1. Personal appearance

Hair, makeup, nails, shoes, clothes, bags… if you can name it, we are most probably spending way too much money on it. While some of these expenses can be classified as needs, the overwhelming majority are wants. For instance, who absolutely needs highlights? Is the latest lipstick color detrimental to our survival really? Most appearance related expenses can be curtailed by limiting yourself to the occasional splurge while learning to be content with how you look. And NAILS are not mandatory every week!

A clipper and some flashy or classy nailpolish done during “girls night” by the gf who  paints the best can cut it!

2. Deals

This is a tricky one because by definition, a frugal girl will always be looking to pay less than full price. But sometimes we get addicted to the quest itself. And by doing so, not only do we accumulate a ton of stuff which in turn will require more cash for organization and storage, but we also end up wasting a great deal (pun intended!) of money on unnecessary things.

3. Trying to be hip

Admit it, if you’re a girl you’ve looked at the latest celebrity photos on gossip blogs or entertainment magazines and salivated over the skinny jeans, Ugg boots or ginormous ‘it-bag’ they’re sporting. It’s natural to be interested in fashion if you’re a girl, but you don’t have to act on your impulses. Fact is those celebrities have a ton more discretionary income than you or I, and chances are that they scored it for free, or are getting paid to parade it around. Yes, they are walking, talking advertisements designed to make you part with your hard earned cash and it would be foolish to fall for them.

4. Being afraid/too busy/lazy to DIY

These expenses can range from the obscure to the obvious. Minor jobs around the house for which we usually use a handyman, oil change for our car, filling out our own tax return (there’s a reason it’s called 1040EZ), preparing our own meals, doing our own manicures, hemming our own pants, managing our own finances… These are all things that if you can google, you can find a way to do yourself.

5. Diet & Fitness

Before we come to the realization that true physical fitness can only be achieved through a balanced diet and plenty of exercise, most of us girls have spent a small fortune on following the latest fad diets, appetite suppressors, fitness gadget, or other such gizmo. Years ago, I bought an ‘ab-roller’ which promised to give me tight abs if I got on my hands and knees and rolled it on the floor. (I’m sure you’ve seen those infomercials!) After many iterations of rolling and no sign of tightened abs, it ended up in the dumpster.  Similarly a friend swore her appetite was curtailed after she first took some magic pills, but later wondered if it was a temporary placebo effect. And who doesn’t know a gal who owns a $700+ elliptical machine which is now gathering dust in her basement?

I’ve been guilty of all 5 of these categories. Have you? Or do you not agree with anything on this list? Can you list other ways that girls waste money?

IM on my last bit of my paycheck….

Make a change!

yess!

Jordyn Sparks came out with the first single for her 2nd album a few weeks ago and every 20 minutes Z100 has ‘Battlefield’ on the replay…

I adore the song but everytime I hear its on this just brings back unpleasant feelings. This song has now been attached to a certain event/ a certain person/ a certain feeling and I have gotten past that for the time, I really do not need any remembrance of that.  Today I slept a whole lot apart from attending my cousins wedding. I really wanted to get to the mall to get the ED Hardy frangrance for women… but I guess that can be done next week or something. I am realllyyy waiting to see someone I really want to see and I am leaving Ny tomorrow hoping I will be back pretty soon…

And I really miss him… I do..

*** “Yes, she has trust issues but if you were her, you would too” ***

“I don’t feel loved. I go through each day and I don’t think anybody loves me. And I know it’s pathetic but it’s the way I feel and I’m too young to feel this way.” ***

“I would much rather to be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not.” ***

“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.” -Josephine Hart ***

“Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.”

*** I’d rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, sinners are much more fun. -Billy Joel -”Only the Good Die Young” ***

“I’m the kind of girl that falls into her music, dives into a scene, and runs away from love.” ***

“Well-behaved women seldom make history.” -Laurel Thatcher Ulrich ***

“Sometimes people put up walls, not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down.” ***

“She’s tough. She tries to hide it. She’s difficult. But if you make an effort, she’s worth it. She’s worth the effort.” ***

“Don’t wish me happiness -I don’t expect to be happy it’s gotten beyond that, somehow. Wish me courage and strength and a sense of humor; I will need them all.” -Anne Morrow Lindbergh ***

“if you can’t handle me at my worst…then you don’t deserve me at my best” ***

“It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” -Sir Noel Coward ***

“Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” ***

“A woman is like a tea bag, you can not tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” ***

“You change for two reasons; either you learn enough that you want to, or you’ve been hurt enough that you have to.” ***

“You’ve got three choices; give up, give in, or give it all you got” ***

“You can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love.” ***

“Seduction isn’t making someone do what they don’t want to do. Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.” -Gojyo (bonus points to who can tell me when/where he said this; HINT:it’s not a cannon quote) ***

“If you could see what I see, you’d understand. Behind your scars you’re still beautiful. Behind your anger your still wishing for a shoulder to cry on. Your scars merely remind you that the past was real. They do not make you who you are.” – Pike to Juno (SxD) ***

“I’m not happy when I’m writing, but I’m more unhappy when I’m not.” ***

“There is only a thin line between Love and Hate.” *** “And the words she writes could burn a hole through his heart.” ***

“My eyes tell secrets my lips will never say” ***

“Sometimes you have to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.” ***

“If it isn’t mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it’s a waste of your time. There are too many mediocre things in life. Love shouldn’t be one of them.” ***

“People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.” ***

“Somewhere there’s someone who dreams about your smile, and finds in your presence life is worth while so when you are lonely remember its true someone somewhere is thinking of you.” ***

“The prettiest people do the ugliest things.” ***

“Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living.” -Mary Jones ***

“Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak. It just means that you are strong enough to let go.” ***

“Never give up on the things that make you smile.” ***

“A teardrop is insignificant in a pool of water, but it can touch the soul as it runs down someone’s face” ***

“Sometimes you just want to put other people’s happiness before yours, because you love them, because they deserve it.” ***

A person is never as quiet or unrestrained as they seem, as bad or as good, as vulnerable or as strong, as sweet or as feisty. We are thickly layered, page lying upon page, behind simple covers. And love; it is not the book itself, but the binding. It can rip us apart.” ***

“When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts, or do things my own way, they call me a bitch. Being a bitch means I won’t compromise what’s in my heart. It means I live my life my way. It means I won’t allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I’m defined as a bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone’s maid, or when I act a little selfish. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won’t become anyone else’s idea of how I “should” be. I’m outspoken, opinionated, and determined. I want what I want and there’s nothing wrong with that. So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won’t succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, then so be it.” ***

“She’s got her daddy’s tongue and temper Sometimes her mouth could use a filter God shook his head the day he built her Oh but I bet he smiled She loves and lives her life unruly Tears up that dirt road in a dually Dangerous? Absolutely Crazy’s got nothing on her…” ***

“I’m the type of girl who will fall for a guy she barely knows; Who will listen to a love song and see his face; Who will look for him wherever she goes. I’m the type of girl who doesn’t get over things easily; Who will beat herself up when someone doesn’t love her back; Who will cry herself to sleep because she feels she’s not good enough. But I’m also the type of girl who is strong; Who can cry her eyes out then forbid them to come back the next morning; Who will blast some old pop song and sing at the top of her lungs because she feels like it; Who will be no one but herself.” ***

“Dance as though no one is watching you. Sing as though no one can hear you. Love as though you have never been hurt before. Live as though heaven is on earth.” ***

“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched But are felt in the heart.” ***

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.” ***

“Speak your mind even if your voice shakes.” -Maggie Kuhn ***
“Love me when I least deserve it, because that’s when I really need it.” ***

“I’m the girl guys are friends with, not the girl guys date.” ***

“Sometimes you have to test someone. Not because you don’t trust them, but to see how much they’ll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go; not because you suddenly stopped loving them, but to see if they love you enough to come back.” *** “I’m a hopeless romantic. I believe in wishing on stars, soul mates, and love that never ends, but sometimes, I feel like the only single person alive. I feel so alone. No matter what I try to do, I’m left in solitude. Maybe I try too hard. Maybe I really am hopeless.” ***

“If you look inside a girls heart, you would see how much she really cries – you would find secrets hidden – best friends and lies, but what you will see the most is how hard it’s to stay “strong” when nothing is going right and when everything is wrong.” ***

“I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me… All I ask is that you respect me as a human being.” ***
“when the rich wage war; it’s the poor who die” -Linkin’ park ‘hands held high’

Happy Bday To Me…

xoxo

Listening to You found me…By the Fray..
(8) Lost and Insecure, You found me You found me… Lying on the floor, where were you? Where were you (8)

I find its a pretty good song and makes me miss greys anatomy even more now. I cant wait for the new season and the new plot. Izzie and George are officially out of it. I wonder who Alex finds next? SO today I did some work and I started playing ZUMA which I got addicted to.. Going back to facebook and attempting to access the application- A No brainer!! I just cant seem to get it. So why did they take the game off??? NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOO

Work tomorrow, as usual.. I mean can something new and exciting come  my way? Like probably I just got a job transfer to miami for a week… doing some electrical stuff in south beach… No hard work.. Probably monitoring the electrical installation at a club in miami.. Monitoring in the sense that going to the club and see how bright the lights are by experiencing ….. w.eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

basically 2 and a half days before I get to my last year of being  a teenager… O the sweet years..

(currently having the fray be my back ground music)

So right now I figured I should really start writing how I really feel and what has really been affecting me. Lately I just feel excessively clouded where I haven’t been given the true space to react normally since it may go against society’s norm. See, I really dont think the eff word has its destructive meaning anymore. I mean everywhere you turn this word is being muttered in a corner. I am not saying it is now deemed appropriate but what was then is not now. Words have been revolutionized together with time. The S to the h and the i and you know the rest word simply means nothing to me. I together with many other people say it to express displeasure or frantic feelings.
I feel way ahead of time yet way behind everything. And its like I have lost all control of how I am suppose to feel and what I am suppose to feel…

I have this pretty cool fb status now!!

The Heart is signing away All its rights to feel pain and any more emotion to the Mind!… Thats the best decision thus far! So the mind is now in control of all external affairs; the right to refuse port entry and to rid the body of all bullshit! ALSO as a bonus the mind now gets rid of overused words, phrases which has to be processed by the air via other medium! Banning rights are being put into full effect…

I dont like beyonce that much… her new videos are sickening with that black and white theme and I am seeing to much of her and dancing.. its strictly time for a change.. she is a bit too overdramatic soo… that is that..
but I lover her song… Disappear and Smash Into you!1

If I beg and if I cry would it change the sky tonight?
Will it give me sunlight?
Should I wait for you to call? Is there any hope at all?
Are you drifting by?

When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared
The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you
You’re nearly here and then

You disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)
You disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)

And then I lie all by myself, I see your face, I hear your voice
My heart stays faithful
And time has come and time has passed, if it’s good, it’s got to last
It feels so right

When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared
The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you
You’re nearly here and then

You disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)
You disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)
You, you disappear
(Disappear, disappear, disappear)
You disappear

I missed all the signs one at a time
You were ready
What did I know starting our lives
No, my love I’m ready to shine

When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared
The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you
I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you
You’re nearly here and then

You disappear, you disappear
You disappear, you disappear, disappear