All Men Love White Women, Black Women Cannot Date White Men, All Men Hate Black Women… and Why
Posted on March 04, 2010 by Amee in The Normal Stuff | 47 Comments
DISCLAIMER:I do not own this post. I had no part in writing this post. This is simply copied and pasted from a blog “In The Shadows of Black America” . I found this post really interesting amongst many other things and I don’t agree with everything she says… AT ALL… none the less, it is an interesting read…
* Try going to the article and reading the comments*
All Men Love White Women, Black Women Cannot Date White Men, All Men Hate Black Women… and Why
It’s the reality that we must all face. It’s the truth that we will never accept. But there is reason… sad, demoralizing reason.
I have constantly been in search of myself and my goals for the future. Relationships tend to play a role in the way I think of my impending success, but in the guise of so much hatred and self-loathing (of others, not myself), I wonder how I will ever succeed. I am a woman of color who cannot get past race. I am in no means color-blind. And in the topic of love and relationships, I carry the preference of dating and associating with mostly only people of color.
I have never loved a white man. I say this, though I have, in my very young youth, had a very close friend that was a white male. Needless to say, we are no longer associates. I have always blamed race for our falling out. I was a smart, talented Black female, and he was a lazy, drug-addict white kid. He rode my coattails from 2nd to 8th grade, and after we graduated from middle school, he dropped out of high school and I went on to graduate from the best high school in my city and accept a full-ride from an out-of-state university (sounds like it should have been the other way around to SOME people). His dreams were built on mine; for a long time, I thought he would be my life-long partner. But reality is a bitch, and he’s what white people would consider “white trash” and I’m what white people would call “an exceptional Black scholar.” Or “one lucky nigger.” Just depends on who you’re talking to and how well their brain is connected to their mouth.
So I have decided that even though I have this higher level of education, that many of my Black brothas do not have, I will hang it in for a Black man with lesser education than a white man with equal to more education that I have. I cannot give myself up to a white man. Which is why I’m writing this, in hopes of seeing if I reasoning is similar of the same to that of a sista in my predicament.
THIS IS NOT FOR THE SHALLOW OF HEART. I AM NOT TRYING TO CODDLE ANYONE’S EGO.
Why I (A Proud Black Woman) Cannot Date a White Man
I love my people. I know my history. I know of the attempts white people have made to thwart my education (so that I hate myself and my history), which strengthens my desire to learn more about the people I love.
History. History has told me an angering story about how my ancestors, 100% African people, were kings and queens, prosperous landowners and businessmen (sounds like a fairy tale now), and wise intellectuals and teachers, who were kidnapped from their fruitful land and piled into slave “castles” without water, food, space, clothing, and cause. The savages who took my ancestors were white men. These white men, who were supposedly good Christians and believed in freedom and representation, disregarded their values and refused to extend these rights to people who had skin tones darker than their own. (Hence, I am not a Christian!)
The women of my ancestry were RAPED CONTINUOUSLY and forced to bear children who would know no love from their master-fathers, and would be shunned and mistreated by these white men’s wives, because they were the evidence of infidelity. Infidelity with a BLACK WOMAN, a woman who was not supposedly equal to a white woman, yet their husbands desired. (This is where the ORIGINAL strain of the Black-white women realtionships begins.)
I think of this every time I consider finding a white man attractive (it tends to go no farther than this). History proves that a white man only sees himself engaged with a Black woman in a sexual manner. This is proven not only in the midst of slavery, but through the Blaxploitation films of the 1960s (and the 1960s in general), and by talking to any college-aged white male (“I’d love to mess with just ONE Black chick [before I settle down with my innocent white wife]“). She may be the twist of his sexual desires, but he instictively cannot desire her for intellect and strength. He cannot see her as a good mother or an equal partner (she couldn’t protect herself from his hands as a slave, nor could she possibly have the brains to entertain a white man’s superior intellect [since she is mentally inferior]).
This is one of the reasons why many white men desire a certain type of Black woman when they claim to have a “thing” for Black women: These sistas are usually VERY dark, with natural hair (like the African slave), with slim “white women” body types and a “white” attitude (calm, supremely educated, and seemingly docile ["doormat" material, maybe?]). They are best of both worlds without really giving up any biases. They come from affluent families and have parents who are usually the “uppity” Black people all white people feel comfortable associating with. They love these women because they know these women have, for the most part, bought into the “equality” fantasy and are not going to challenge or even dig for those obvious prejudices the white male inherently carries from years of privelege and what I call “discrimination education.”
Why The Black Man (And All the Rest) Loves The White Woman
She is the epitome of beauty. Built like the 10-year-old Eminem, her coccyx is the perfect flatness to slide into those low-riders that show off… nothing. Her hair is so long and straight, she can wear it the same way for a decade and no one will be phased by her lack of creativity. And when she wants a new look, She (ooooooh) cuts/colors it. Wow.
It’s no big secret that there is nothing interesting about a white woman. Historically, she is the damsel in distress, the broad too dumb to work, and too weak and fragile to open her own door. She needed a “gentle”man so that her Barbie-esque ass wouldn’t break in half out of fragility or stupidity. And Black men, being the underappreciated, unneeded specimens that Black women have made them out to be (through becoming independant women who can support themselves and raise families alone) flocked to these creatures who couldn’t hop a street corner without assistance. Black men want to be men, and white women give them every chance to do so. They EXPECT a man who will make all of the decisions, give them all that they desire, take care of them, and they expect a certain dowry for their hand in marriage (“Show me the money”).
This is what the Black man thrives for. Control over himself, his future, and the welfare of his woman and children. These freedoms were taken away from the Black man during slavery (yes, it ALL comes back to this) and given to the white master. Black men were intentionally separated from their families during this time period. They have been forced to move and attemted to build home elsewhere. many slave men started several families throughout their lives due to their continuous selling. Time after time, he could not return to the home he just built and to the family he would have given anything to rear. These Black women went on without them and raised their children on their own. There was once a time where a male slave would buy himself out of slavery and them come back to buy his family. Slowly, a transition started where we saw the likes of Sojourner Truth and Harriet Tubman arise, where women took it upon themselves to lead escapes from masters and buying themselves and their families out of slavery. They became the breadwinners and protectors of their home, and have continuously strengthened this role to become the respect heads of thier households. They were the mother-fathers. For centuries, the Black man has attempted to win back his position as the alpha male, and has spited the Black woman for never turning control over to him again.
Which gets to…
Why All Men Hate Black Women
Black women have become so accustomed to providing for themselves, making their own decisions and being alone (“I don’t need anyone but M.E.”) that ALL men have begun to see us as an almost asexual group. And a spiteful group. Of course, we should KNOW by now that a woman’s place is behind a man, and if we curtsied and giggled at lame jokes and dreamed of being barefoot and pregnant, we would all be married. We’ve elevated our importance and role to that of a man, and that is why men are put off by us.
What have I left out? I know I sound a little angry… especially about white women. But tell ME… I could go into the legacy of Emmitt Till and how disappointed I am in Black men, but I tend to get very emotional.
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Let’s face it. We live in a multicultural society. While in the past, people were more likely to “stick with their own kind,” we are seeing a significant growth in interracial relationships. By integrating with different cultures and nationalities, we are doing AWAY with the seeds of hate, racism, and prejudice.
Interracial relationships provide individuals with the unique opportunity to learn, experience, and appreciate different cultures and backgrounds. We are given the opportunity to see the beauty in different nationalities and peoples. Most importantly, we are finally learning that the outer shell of a person does not change the fact that deep within we are all one in the same. Interracial relationships strengthen individuals and can help build harmony between different races. Learning and experiencing things from different cultures will enrich us.
Some will argue that interracial couples need to deal with more differences and a greater number of challenges than “regular” couples – I would agree. I believe that it is by overcoming these differences that interracial relationships become stronger and develop stability.
Finally, let us not forget the most important part of any relationship: love. An interracial couple is just as capable of loving each other as deeply as any other couple. Every relationship will bring many challenges along with it, If love is present in ANY relationship, great boundaries can be overcome.
Wow… Strongly agree and well put…
Im still at loggerheads with the topic or how to approach it after reading this entry. She was quite adamant and a bit over the top and I never realise such existed til now.
wow. you must really hate white people. but you really need to consider things in greater perspective. i understand that black people were treated horribly by white people in this country (and some still are to this day), but you can’t go on feeling like a victim. everyone has a story of their own and everyone of every race has been mistreated by another race. we need to move past this type of thinking. one thing you might not be aware of is that even white people were enslaved by black people at one point in history. if you don’t believe that, do some research on the barbary pirates and the barbary states of northern africa. it is estimated that they enslaved substantially greated numbers of white people and sold them into slavery in northern africa than white people who enslaved africans to sell in the us. at some point between 1300 and 1800 AD almost every single coastal town in southern europe was attacked by pirates from marocco, tunisia and algeria with their inhabitant consistently taken back and sold in bazaars in north africa. there are even records of them attacking an irish coastal town as well. i myself am ethnically greek and i still remember how my grandmother, who was born on the island of naxos, used to tell me how her grandparents and their grandparents would tell them stories of how the algerians would land their ships on the coast, attack the villages, kill the men and take the women and children back as slaves to be sold in the towns of oran, algiers and tunis. anyway, the point i’m trying to make is that we can all be victims if we want to, but that won’t get us anywhere. it’s not fair to have a negative view on a entire group of people just because of the way a small percentage of white people in the us treated black people 150 years ago. in fact, most white people in the us are descended from people who came to america after the civil war (like me, both my parents were born in europe). so as long as the italians, spanish, and greeks have moved past the slavery that was imposed on their people (and it was almost entirely one-sided as well), i think african americans could logically do the same
Great points all the way around. I have often ran this subject through my mind as a black intelligent educated 40 something male. The part about Roots that bothered me the most was the callous rape of black women. So much so that I had a strong dislike for interracial black women/white male and reciprocal did not bother me nearly as much. Through my early twenties I repeatedly said I would not date a white woman because I didn’t feel we would have enough in common. After being married to a black woman for 15 years I have changed my viewpoint to some degree. I have no desire to be in a relationship with an “overly strong” black woman and some might say that makes me an “overly weak” black male. Whatever the case I no longer desire to have to fight with my life partner about every decision I make to improve the lives of my family. I often felt that black women were so combative because of the hurt caused from years of being dogged by black men. But you raised some interesting positions that could also feed into this stereotype of the “strong” black woman that we have become accustomed to. I can honestly say that if my wife ever lost her mind and left, I would probably prefer black women but I would be open to all races. Because when it comes down to it, I need someone to just be good to me. I’ll leave the fighting and battles for leadership to the young brothers who still have the strength to fight. Give me someone docile white, black, Asian etc… Just be good to me and I’ll be good to you.
“Weak” Black Male
I stated that the post was not written by me and I have no affiliations with with. I actually disagree with a considerable amount of the comments she made. I did think that it was an interesting read. One for debate. I then chose to stay clear of making any comments But I do think that most of us have had injustice done to us… BUT to different degrees. Some people consistently focus on that past injustice because it still lingers in the present. I do acknowledge that events had occurred but I am all for moving forward and not dwelling on negativity. As for the past I do feel a bit of what my ancestors felt, but I can;t really blame anyone of the present. Its like blaming a kid because his dad murdered the neighbor. <— (not a fair representation of our turmoil but just to say the least…)
I being a southern white female was raised to pass and repass with black people. I never had a black friend or did I even go to school with black children. When I turned 37 a friend of mine ask for me to house sit while she was on vacation. She has a wide circle of friends and after answearing her calls I started talking to this guy for like 2 weeks and it never entered my mind the guy was black or did I think to ask. So I said to him we should meet for coffee or drinks and we set up a date. Well low and behold when he walked up to me I about fainted. This was real hard for me as I stated earler I was born and raised in the south. Well I quess he could tell I was just a little freeked out. I had talked to this man for over 2 weeks and had fallen in love was head over heals in love. He continued to call me at home and ask me out. I said to him where will we go?he just laughed it off I was dead serious how could I be seen with a black guy are you kidding me and he said well It’s no better for me I cannot be seen with a white woman. So we decided on renting a movie and pizza. We started making out he said to me. Whats wrong? he said, well I have never been with a black guy and he said well I have never been with a white woman so we are even. We have been together for over 8 years and these have not been easy years for me or him our familys are pro white and his pro black.
I have learned that you cannot control who you love. I fell in love over the phone if I were to meet him in a store this never would of happend that I know for sure. and his sisters have come to love me I am no longer addressed as the white girl. This took like 3 years. I will say this I love my husband with all of my heart and together we have something great and I would never trade one minute with him . He is the best lover and husband I could ever hope for in a man. He is my whole world and I know he loves me as a woman , not just a white woman. He has told me this several times. just wanted to share my story and let people know that sometimes people just fall in love for the right reasons love.
Nice post…Thank you for sharing some good things!!
Hi man.
I love black women. I love all women and dream a world where skin’s colour is not a question. And it is possible, believe me! Your site, your way to write is excellent, but I can not accept, I’d like to be the man of a black woman, or Japanese, chinese ora American Native, like white… it is not important when a girl drives my heart to go speedy. Kiss! Bye!
And I am a white man, blond hairs brown eyes… but it is not important! When I fly in love for a woman I forget how I am, I live only for her!
I am a white man, white skin, blond hairs brown eyes, but when I fly in love for a girl, I forget how I am, I only know how she is wonderfull and my reason of life!
okay i really feel black women and people have nothing to apologize for.YOU cant move on until the the mistreater ecnologies what they have done to the victim. And yes we are victims and “Jack” even if white people were enslaved by black people at one point, it was NOTHING compaared to the mass trade and selling of african individuals.And i think your trying to make yourself sound like a victim.And it wasnt some percentage of white people. It was a large percentage of white people around 92%.And although most white ppl r decended from people who migrated g=here after the civil war, most whites originaly from the US convinced the immigrants to help continually torture the remaining african population. And it was HELL> And besides, they wernt considered second class citizens. The immigrating white people were all still WHITE
the jews did know it will happen more than 2000 years ago – just read their “bible” Daniel 2, a forecast for the future. It says not, it should happen that way, but it will happen, just because all menkind is evil. Specialy for you is interesting to read Daniel 2,43
“And the fact that you have seen iron with clay mixed, means: certainly, they will mix by marriage with each other, but, nevertheless, they will not stick each other, as well as iron with clay cannot be mixed”
Thats why stay faithfull to yourself and your values – if you love someone from another race, then PRAY that nobody will destroy it.
You’ve got great insights about dating, relationships, love, women, men, dates,, keep up the good work!
I think that in this day and age, all of these insecurities,
And assumptions about people of ‘other’ races
And ethnic backgrounds should stop because most of these
Stereotypes are outrageous.
I am a young pretty black female who loves to date white men on the regular and I never feel that they’re superior
to me. And I trust that they Love and respect me as I do them. I’m
comfortable, I feel sexy and black and I know they feel relaxed with me as well.
I think any good relationship begins with some form
of trust and confidence that shouldn’t have to be dignified based on the color of your skin.
In response to the idea of an interracial coupling,if it has or will ever cross your mind, is and would
be something unique and special that I will NEVER regret and WOULD recommend.Sounds funny and daunting, but it
shouldn’t have to be. All in all there are some wonderful guys out there who want to love you.
You just have to keep an open mind.
Rajen Persaud suggests that (only) white men have the answer to the following question: “Why Do Black Men Love White Women?”, which is incongruous, revisionist nonsense. Every man has their own preferences of women and it’s no different than women who have preferences of men. So, first off, to put a blanket statement on a certain group of people who fall in this category is just superficial. This book is not at all about interracial relationships between black men and white women. Instead, this book is more about black men dealing with power struggles, how black people are portrayed in American media, ignorance in modern urban culture and how some black men try to regain their masculinity, after they’ve had it taken from them by scared, racist white men.
This book never gives anyone an answer or even an excuse as to why black men “love” white women, at all. This book also fails to answer this question properly, honestly or respectfully. The author has a habit of going off-topic and off-the-wall many times. In fact, the only chapter in this book that really brings up the subject about interracial relationships is the chapter entitled “White Women Are Just Stupid”. If anything, this book mainly discusses how the black community has been destroyed thanks to white male ego/insecurity, along with how black men and women are degraded in Hollywood. Rajen Persaud discusses how black people are painted in films such as “Pulp Fiction”, “Monster’s Ball”, “Barbershop” (a movie he personally dislikes), etc… The author states that black people suffer from power struggles based on how much they’ve endured from white America, slavery, Jim Crow and the legacies of rape, fear and injustices perpetuated by white men. However, none of these things have anything at all to do with why black men “love” white women.
The author does call out ignorant stereotypes about white women being “pushovers” and that this stereotype is only created to make certain people feel better about themselves. I will give him credit for this; it needed to be said a long time ago! Rajen tells it like it is when he admits that black women are just as “soft” as white women and that regardless of how angry, demanding or pissed off a woman can be, a man is going to be a man and does what he wants to do in the end.
Black men aren’t the only people in the world who are paranoid and dealing with power struggles. Black women stress over black men, for the fear of “losing” them. Rajen is a man who is obsessed with pop culture and street life. It’s evident these are the main sources he gets his information from, which is why his book is so eccentric. If the author had picked a proper title for this book, representing what the content is really about, it wouldn’t be so bad. I have read this book not too long ago and based on the author’s writing skill and craft, it looks as if this book could have been written sometime in the 1990s. This isn’t because the subject of “interracial dating” is old because it will never get old, but his writing skill & the subjects he touches are outmoded. This book should have been called “Paranoia in the Black Community”, because that is what this book is mainly about: deep-seated paranoia and anger that sleeps in the minds of certain African-Americans. But if that was the title of the book, it probably wouldn’t sell very many units. The choice title for this book is proof that Rajen Persaud just has an urge to sell books, just like Michael Eric Dyson and Karrine Steffans.
While the author has a few good points, don’t waste your money on this off-topic & weak book. Many of these things have been said 10-20 years ago.
INSTEAD, READ: “White Men Can’t Hump (As Good as Black Men)”, by Todd Wooten or “Handling the Truth II”, by Darrin Lowery-Smith.
In any subject dealing with people, one must first state that ther are no universals. People are people, regardless of race or any other facet which makes each one unique.
I am a white man who is very attracted to strong black women. This is not merely a sex thing (though in any romantic situation there is, and should be, an erotic element). I believe that black women, having been used by white men and abandoned by black men, have needed to develop strength to survive. I find this strength appealing in every way. This adds to my love for the physical attributes typically associated with black women. Ebony eyes, full in hips and lips, luxurious hair, and beautuful dark skin. There are those who would say tha my desire to spend the rest of my life loving one black women must be based on latent racism. I find this to be absurd.
There are many things I would like to add here, but I will keep this to the subject at hand. There is no such thing as a “more beautiful” or “more worthy” race. But, for me, I will wait until I find a beautiful, loving, intelligent, strong black woman who will have me, and I will love her only for the rest of my days.
I am a 45 yo White Male and have a 29 YO married black GF
You know when i first read the title i was thinking it wasn’t going to be as bad as it sounds. I felt flustered, and had anger throughout my body the whole time i read this article. Thinking this way is defiantly another form of racism in itself. Racism will defiantly be around forever doesn’t mean its always going to be the same “white vs Black” but it will be out there; but it’s the people who don’t keep an open mind is why it’s never going to end.
Another reason it upset’s me is because, i’m a Black woman finishing up college, and i’ve traveled to many places and have seen and met many types of people and it’s all about keeping an open mind. I’ve dated my fare share of people wether they were white, black, hispanic and NONE of them have treated me any different if i were a “white woman” or secretly wanted me to be. If you can respect yourself enough to look past the skin color of someone to date and try to create happiness i truly feel bad for whoever can’t do that.
I’m a history major, and have taken many.many..many courses on slavery, and racism, and one of replies earlier was right with black people enslaving white people. Also many of our “so called” brother and sisters and family that should have been saving us were selling us off for money! many of the kings in africa were making a hefty profit on selling our relatives…it wasn’t all the “white peoples” fault and i hate when people just blame one person.
I do think that black woman make themselves high in mighty in many ways, because of being left, and of course what many other people have talked about above i don’t want to keep repeating myself. I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to be a proud black woman; but it doesn’t mean you can’t find a White man to support you too. I met this amazing guy (white male) he loved me for me and never would have me change anything, his parents loved me. they never once told there son ‘are you sure you want to date a black girl’ i asked him too about it cause i know i could run across it, but i haven’t and its about taking a chance and if he doesn’t want to except you..He’s not the right person but to be closed minded and to be the “strong black woman” and wanting to meet your great black guy even if your not that interested in him but he’s black and good looking compared to the white male who you have everything in common with and he has a great job. Get off your “proud black woman syndrome” and go date. I think the best book i read growing up was the star-belly snitches, and how it was about racism, and how it took a long time for people to see that everyone is a like underneath it all but to be soooo closed mined your being racist. It’s 2011 and it’s time to let things go and move on.
To end things i was adopted because my “proud black mother” was an alcoholic and my birth father ditched out on here leaving her with kids and a addiction. I was adopted when i was about a year and my parents are white. They have never treated me different in anyway and i wouldn’t change my parents for anything in the world. which is another reason i would never be closed minded my parents never had to adopt 3 black children they could have said no we will wait for the next “white” child please but they didn’t care they wanted a child no matter what color and they raised me like there own. To know my parents are so opened minded i know that many people i date our as well and many guys and girls in this world are very opened minded. Open your heart and just close your eye’s color shouldn’t be an issue and black woman give white guys a chance. it’s sad that even today there are articles like this. It’s sad and i’m ashamed for it.
Wow. As a young white women who is reading this incredibly racist blog is sad. Yes, racism is out there. Mostly amoung the older crown 30′s and up. Our white ancestors did a terrible thing. Will racim still be around? Well yes and you definately proved that by what you wrote.
he dropped out of high school and I went on to graduate from the best high school in my city and accept a full-ride from an out-of-state university (sounds like it should have been the other way around to SOME people). His dreams were built on mine; for a long time, I thought he would be my life-long partner. But reality is a bitch, and he’s what white people would consider “white trash” and I’m what white people would call “an exceptional Black scholar.” Or “one lucky nigger.” Just depends on who you’re talking to and how well their brain is connected to their mouth.
<– SOME people. You mean white people. I graduated with some of the finest blacks that went on to major universities and one is playing football at a UT. Others are getting doctorate degrees and all kinds of degrees. I would not call this an "exceptional black scholar" All races have all kinds of chances and those friends of mind are amazing. Like I said, racism is still out there but some of us younger generation are trying to make a difference.
"She is the epitome of beauty. Built like the 10-year-old Eminem, her coccyx is the perfect flatness to slide into those low-riders that show off… nothing. Her hair is so long and straight, she can wear it the same way for a decade and no one will be phased by her lack of creativity. And when she wants a new look, She (ooooooh) cuts/colors it. Wow."
<— yes WOW. Your racism is not slamming your anger and commenting on white woman and their bodies. I can't believe this is coming out of someone's mouth I would never, ever, lower myself to go slam a race and make fun of anything about them their bodies or their hair.
"It’s no big secret that there is nothing interesting about a white woman. Historically, she is the damsel in distress, the broad too dumb to work, and too weak and fragile to open her own door. She needed a “gentle”man so that her Barbie-esque ass wouldn’t break in half out of fragility or stupidity"
<– This one really gets me too. To dumb to work? Damsel in distress? To fragile to open her own door? Barbie-esque ass would break in half out of frgility or stupidity?
White women, Black women, have all proven success in becoming hard working doctors, lawyers, successfull businesswomen (like myself), nurses, everything.
Now, having said what I had to say because the rest wasn't worth reading considering the damning details you had to slam white people at. Im going to continue on with my friends of different race of friends who are not concentrating on slamming each other are and just enjoy each other personalities, and I like my black girl friends they are funny as hell and they teach my ass (in those low riders where there is no ass sense your sterotyping) how to dance.
Sounds like you need to change you perspective and maybe put your racism aside and make a white girlfriend. But it sounds like your set in your ways. Oh and I can definatley tell you are no christian, or else you wouldn't have so much hatred against the white race.
I just read that its not your post…. sorry. But Im hoping you are not agreeing on everything this woman has to write.
I am a white man who loves black woman for the following reasons. They tend to be stronger and tougher then the wimpy whites. Most importantly i love their features, their skin, their hair, their lips, their smell. I just find them way more stylish, sexy and artistic in their makeup and style. I find black men to be the most beautuful, sexy and sophisticated women in the world.
I believe racism and its abuses come from jealousy. White people are jealous of the radiant, sun drenched, earthy beauty of the darker races. We are jealous of your access to soul, your laughter and your sexual features. You are goddesses par excellence. I am very pissed off at my ancestors and ashamed to be white at times due to the dispicable choices my fore fathers and mothers made. I feel that black people have every right to feel bitter and angry and i see the continuing effects of racism daily. Can we ever leave it in the past? The abuse perpetrated by white man against black woman is just plain evil.
To me MLK is a saint. His kindness and desire for peace have saved us. I feel so blessed to live in america and be surrounded by the beauty, grace and love of the black community. Africa gave you something that is indescribably beautiful. I am very sorry for the past, please forgive us. We love you.
Hola! I’ve been following your site for some time now and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you a shout out from Houston Texas! Just wanted to say keep up the fantastic job!
i am a white man and i have only ever dated black woman.. right now im in a relationship with the love of my life for 3 years a african girl.. shes my life..
but as a white guy who like black girls my experience is this.. black woman are not open minded to interracial relationships.. parts of this post disgust me as it paints all white guys as sexual predators.. all i can say is that the person who wrote this blog is close minded and living in the past..
Clear, informative, smiple. Could I send you some e-hugs?
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Look I’ve been on and off with a black woman for 6 years.I am half Hispanic and White but in all in all I look like a white boy.I read this article twice and all I have to say is….Pure Bull shit.I look at my woman and I see not BLACK,WHITE,Green,ASIAN,Hispanic.I see beauty,warm,saftey and love.I love my woman to death and I think she isn’t my salve fantasy like you procliam us white men to want.I personaly do not get turn on by white woman.Black Women for life friends.My woman treats me a hundered percent great.I do the same for her.I Belive what MORGAN FREEMAN anwsered to a little diidy he was asked,”STOP TALKING ABOUT IT ALREADY”!!!!I was rasied by a woman and man who(mother white and step dad also white) tought me that you judge a man or woman on not the color of their skin but by the calibur of their character.I will teach my children with this woman Im with.I will teach them that they are blessed to be such colorful people and that God loves them for them and not for what they are on the ouside.
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I am happy the person who wrote this is not a representative for all black women. It was not cool how she talked about the white women. Its not fair to hold all white people accountable for things that happened so long ago. It was horrible but not everyone is like that anymore. No man likes a women who holds on to everything and is bitter or blows everything out of proportion (which is what she is doing) I am a black woman with a white bf. No I do not have natural hair or “uppity” parents, im not dark or skiny. He loves me because I treat him like a man, I dont try to wear the pants and boss him around (which is the real reason why black men dont PREFER black women as much anymore) Not all black women are like that but a good amount are too intimidating. Black women are strong but sometimes they build a wall to keep from getting hurt and no man has the time or patience to break it down.
I’m a black woman who is in a relationship with a white man. (It seems so silly to describe ourselves that way…can’t we just be two people in love?) Anyway, I don’t consider myself to be anything like the black women you described in your article. There was a time when I dated black men exclusively but now I have decided not to limit myself to dating men of my race. This new attitude led me to meeting a man who is so good to me. He treats me like the queen that I am and he is my king.
Hello.This article was extremely interesting, especially because I was investigating for thoughts on this topic last week.
Speaking as a man who has been faithful to the same woman for nearly 20 years, the author of this post is as clueless, bitter and hateful, as she is racist.
I am smart, but my wife is smarter. We support one another and are very much in love…so much do that people when they observe us out or have never met us before, assume we are a new couple. We may not be equals in every way, and that’s a good thing. Because her strengs overcome my weaknesses, as my strengths compensated for hers.
We have two teenage children who were raised in a home that goes well beyond racial tolerance, but genuine love and affection between ethnicities, and that there is only one race and one species of humanity; physical characteristics do nothing to change that fact.
By every objective measure, we are a successful couple.
She is black; I am white. Together, we are more than this poor author can possibly imagine or accept.
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Ok right am a white blonde woman but i hate some other white people for example my family i fell in love with a black man and they wont accept him when he is the only one who actually treats me right and I love him. You know not all white people are like what you think they are Im independent im 24 finished cambridge uni and stuff you know you should not say things like that because not everyone is like that.
I’d really love to have a sitdown with the author of this post, as a happily married black woman with a white husband.
I’ve dated guys of all ethnic groups.
I like the one I have. And he likes me.
So before you go lumping him in with “WHITE MEN…DUN DUN DUNNNN” or “BLACK MEN…DUN DUN DUNNNNNN…” why don’t you just think of him as a guy?
My guy, so hands off lol!
BUT, a guy by his own merits pass or fail. The author of this post, and anyone else listening to me, will be happier by FAR if you just judge people by how they treat you and what they have to offer. Sure, cultural heritage plays a part… my guy’s from the mid-south, and sometimes it shows in his beliefs and attitudes. And that’s okay. Because that’s HIM.
And I love him. Not because I like his wonderful white skin, but because I like the way he makes me laugh and the way he helps me plan for our future and raise our kid.
Go get your own great guy. And stop looking at his skin color as an elimination factor. You’re ruling out big giant swatches of the population… No wonder you’re single.
Just think. What if we became a HUMAN CULTURE. Rich with the evolved traditions of many nations and ready for our steps out into the galaxy as a SINGLE RACE.
Sure, being able to trace your ethnic heritage back to the kings and queens of Africa is a novelty… worthy of interesting note. It’s important to know where we came from so that we can note the mistakes our mothers made.
But that’s your PAST, sister. Slavery, oppression, and self-loathing can only become PAST THINGS if you let them be, and let the white folks who had nothing personally to do with what happened MOVE ON and behave better, because you take the time to ACTUALLY INTERACT WITH THEM.
Let’s move FORWARD, toward GLOBAL heritage, and GLOBAL peace. Let’s recognize that with each new generation we have not only the chance to perpetuate the hateful mistakes our parents made, but the responsibility not to do so, for the sake of our daughters and sons.
My daughter is mixed.
My people are from Barbados and Nigeria.
My husband’s people are French, mostly.
I do not intend to raise her as a “white child” or a “black child” but a “next generation” child. A child of parents who have overcome the crap that has kept back generation after generation. She won’t be accepting a racially based college scholarship for “Affirmative action.” She’ll be getting a MERIT based one to affirm her intelligence.
Think on it. The more we perpetuate the idea that your heritage determines your future, the more it will.
Forgive, move on, and raise children who are more capable of taking good care of one another than we are.
What a bunch of racist propaganda. All this type of nonsense is doing is perpetuating an endless cycle of racism against one another. Yes, slavery was horrible. That’s why we should all be rejoicing that it has been put to an end instead of blaming people alive now for something that happened before they ever even existed. I don’t understand why people have to keep living in the past. As a Jew I can look back on the Holocaust and feel extreme sadness and anger at what happened. However, I would have no problem dating a German woman if I fell in love with her, despite knowing what her ancestors had done. It makes no sense to judge a person based on past events that they had nothing to do with. If you are judging them just because they are white like the horrible slave owners, who is being racist? This would be the same for me to hate all Germans. Doing that would just be perpetuating that same racism and hatred that the nazi’s demonstrated on a horrifying level. I urge you to consider your logic as I know for a fact that not all white men think the way you claim. The only way to ever truly defeat racism is to not feed into all the lies and foolish stereotypes that are beat into our minds every day.
Music started playing as soon as I opened this web page, so frustrating!
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I agree with some of what you said. I am in an interracial relationship currently and there are some truths to what you said but as someone stated above we have to get over those hurdles that were put there by society. i myself am an angry black women and i too can relate to not being able to relinquish that power i have learned to obtain to the blk man—-plus i still struggle to let my current man be the lead in this relationship.
but all in all amelia,a good read,very good info and insight!
I’m Not agreeing at all. just thought it was an interesting read int he sense that its Unbelievable some people still think Like that. So I shared it here to see the different views I would be getting. I, By No means agree with the general idea the writer is trying to bring out.
I will get that fixed
This was written by the most racist woman I have ever read. Listen to the laundry list of stereotypes she throws out there. I agree with NONE of them. Most of those are so ridiculous I joke about them regularly because I can’t believe anyone takes them seriously. I’m a white male who has a black gf of 4 years. I don’t love her for physical sex, I love her because she is physically and emotionally beautiful (the curly hair reference made me laugh because I don’t like her curly hair, she often straightens it for me, I don’t ask her to, she just knows it’s a preference I have, much like I style myself to please her). My last Mrs was an extremely more intelligent white woman (I’m not stereotyping, just in this case – aerospace engineer vs. secretary) who was a nightmare, nothing fragile about her, we fought on a daily basis because she was a nasty person. My white ex is quite wealthy now but I would have jumped off a cliff if I stayed with her, but that had nothing to do with her race, she was a horrible INDIVIDUAL, which is what this author missed. Everyone is an individual. You have to cast aside your own prejudices before you can expect others to.
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I did enjoy the article and agree that the article was very interesting and well spoken…I on the other hand, don’t agree completely with everything said… I will never be able too understand this white/black tension as if we are the only two races on earth. Anyway, to offer feedback on your article… we are living in a time (2012),where people date out of love regardless of race…OF COURSE there will always be those who want to “get a taste”, “experiment” or “test the waters”, but that could be said for any race stepping outside of the box. As far as a black men abandoning black women…L*A*U*G*H*S!! Yes there are men AND women who prefer of all ethnic backgrounds who prefer to date a certain race, OR maybe their race exclusively…Oh well, that’s their personal choice… Their not loosing sleep over me and I sure as hell wont be loosing my precious beauty sleep over them. There are many black men married to black women and exclusively DATE and LOVE black women… You speak of white women with such disgust and anger, & I do understand that the MEDIA has painted this image that white women are the most sought after or lusted…BS!!! Do you realize the many cultures have different opinions and views on beauty, many cultures consider dark complected (black) women the ultimate DREAM…(Blacks, Puerto-ricans, Dominicans, Asians, Cubans, Italians, Whites…and the list continues. I am an African American female and happen to LOVEEEE Puerto-Rican men…now don’t get me wrong I love black men also, and have dated other races (including white), but have a STRONG mental, physical and sexual connection with Puerto Rican men… I have a beautiful bi-racial (PR and AA) daughter who I hope won’t have to experience that racism that we are faced today… That being said…its ok to STEP INTO THE UNKNOWN!! If your not comfortable with dating white men, don’t exclude or ignore the thousands of other races that are DREAMING of a wife that fortunately looks like you and me!!
I am 26 years old and have NEVER experienced a black man choosing any other race over ME…yes I said ME, because it depends on how YOU present and carry yourself as well as common interest that you both may share. I happen to be an intellegent, attractive, sexy, and confident black female… It has bothered me at times to see a bm with a ww because the bm almost has an attitude that he has somehow climbed the ladder and is superior to their own race.. The ww will usually usually display to same attitude but in addition love letting it be known that their man is black… AT the same most black men that I know are with black women…I think this ww/bm hookup is often to get attention from both white men and black females…